Crossed the finish line at 1307 & 02 seconds on 5th August 2009.
I think the first thing to say is... WE HAVE FINISHED THE RACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We set sail roughly 16 days and 1 hour ago and we suspect that we will be first in class. But we have just reached Ballycastle in Northern Ireland and are looking forward to stepping on dry land. We intend to stay in Ballycastle until Friday before moving on to Scotland. We were skilfully helmed across the line by our able skipper, who suspiciously we think blackmailed the mate to pick his name out of the hat with '22' other contenders...mmmmmmm
Ok, I'm not going to lie, I have no idea what sort of order these things happened in, the last few days have been a blur of sail changes, waves, wind, rain and more sail changes.
Another special note to Mr Paul Steptoe, and not a bad one this time. Yes its actually a compliment! While in a force 10 gale with 10 meter waves crashing on deck he kept the cross track error to an incredible 0! For you who aren't familiar with the black magic of marine navigation equipment, while sailing to help you keep on course there is a little fake road with the boat on, it has an uncanny resemblance to Mario Kart on the Nintendo Wii, and the cross track error is how much you deviate from the centre of this imaginary road.
While on watch the crew were treated to a free shower and then swimming lessons as the cockpit drainage system failed to cope with the size of the waves entering it. While below decks there would be a cry from the deck of BRACEEEEE!!!! from our token scouser Mark Williams, a resounding crash as the wave hit the exposed side of the boat then crashed over the length of the boat filling not only the cockpit with water but also the cabin through leaky windows and air vents. It also managed to fill the sail locker with water so it had the resemblance of a giant fishtank. full of sails. There was also a sighting of the rarer, very colourful storm jib, which on sighting it was hoisted instantly. The filling of the fish tank sail locker then had the annoying side effect of setting off the bilge alarm at around 11.30 then subsequently every 2 hours as it refilled with water, interrupting mother watch's precious golden kip. This was a form of torture for the people sleeping in the forepeak (mother watch) as not only were they in wet sleeping bags with a form of Chinese water torture from the condensation dripping on their foreheads but there was a high pitched buzzer sound resounding around the room as well, sounding like a girlfriend asking for a favour. There is also the fact that being the forepeak it is the part of the boat that leaves the water while negotiating waves so we were getting slammed about, it was like sleeping in a cocktail tumbler. So in summary, the only time we can sleep for over 4 hours we are wet, cold, getting battered about and have what sounds like a girlfriend or mothers voice all night.
When I say everything is wet in the boat I mean EVERYTHING except the oven, only because the heat burns it off, even the nav table is wet as when a particularly big wave hits, even with the washboards in and hatch closed a torrent of water still enters the boat, and due to the way the boat is leaning it lands straight on the nav table, or the skipper standing by the table. You name it, it is wet, bunks so wet when you sit on them water comes out like a sponge, sleeping bags: well lets just say we can take comfort in the knowledge that they can get no wetter. Lockers, if the clothes aren't being worn in a fight against the cold then they will be gathering mould nicely in the damp lockers. Even the insides of my waterproof boots are wet, this driving me to wear my very un-waterproof deck shoes on deck, not expecting to have to leave the sanctuary of the cockpit, how wrong was I?! the sheet on the staysail snapped under the strong winds, so me being a dutiful on watch person got sent up to sort it out, much to my disgust a wave then crashed over firstly softening up the bigger target of my upper body, before mother nature delivered a devastating blow, as the bow crashed back down a wave swept up the foredeck almost a foot deep, so in desperation I started jumping to keep my feet out of the water, it was a flawed plan from the outset, I forgot about gravity. T-man who came up to gallantly help me also got attacked by the wave and was lying on the deck with water gushing into his oilies, looking like a drowned fish, quote "that wave savaged me"
While blue watch was on deck we were having some fun putting up the tri-sail, which proved to have issues as neither skipper or mate couldn't agree where to lead the sheets. So while sorting out these issues out on the aft deck amongst much shouting and urgency a wave crashed over, again, hitting us so much so that Jonny W's life jacket was set off. This then set Tacky Turvey up for the ultimate peg. on an inflated life jacket in a force 10 while trying to sort everything out. This provoked Simon into childlike hysterics much to our confusion. To get the main halyard from the mainsail to the tri-sail it had to be bought down to deck level as it was to dangerous to joke about untying knots. For this there was only one man, a man so great when doing press ups, he does not push himself up, but the world down. Some say he sleeps upside down, and that superman has pictures of him on his duvet. All we know is he is called 'The Tervinator' or Simon Turvey for you less crazy ones out there. As mighty as he is he cannot defy gravity, this is a feat only achieved by Chuck Norris, for this he called upon his Gummy Bear assistant T-MAAAAAANNNNN who lent his arm to the cause, until he got knackered and moved to the shoulder pose, while trying to keep balance so he was stumbling around like a pin ball between the granny bars. At one point leaving Topsy hanging onto the halyard for dear life. All this done while big waves were crashing onto the comical double act.
Jonny W also used all his culinary skills this morning to create a perfect pancake for each crew member for breakfast while the boat was having major disagreements with the sea. These efforts were even more amazing as because it was so rough none of the vents could be opened to try and cut down on water leakage, this then made the cabin, and kitchen especially extremely hot and stuffy, where even I, who in my mother's words has a constitution of steel like my fathers, started feeling a bit seasick. AND he was flipping them!
The magic hair monster has struck again, leaving the trademark two inch long hair calling card all over the boat. Including its favorite hideout being the Mate's custard pudding. The mate subsequently ordered a heave to and the boat stripped to find this mystical beast, Tom was then drafted in using his honed west country hunting skills to bring down this elusive magical annoying thing. It has no known shape so we have no idea what we are searching for. Others believe that the magic hair monster attracts other wildlife, thus the copious amounts of dolphins, sharks, whales, and the latest addition to this list is a gannet with a 'Uber-beak' that landed on the coach house roof and hitched a free ride. Our very own pet tamer scouser Mark 'Steve Irwin' Williams who had already caressed dolphins fondly like streamlined woman started stroking it before T-MMAAAAANNNN poked a big stubby finger in its direction and it took fright and flew off.
As we were nearing Ireland their luck rubbed off on us as white watch found the start and end of a rainbow that started on the port beam and ended on the starboard beam. Unfortunately the economic downturn has indeed affected the lepricorns as there was no pot of gold.
Now we have finished the race we can acknowledge the top speeds at the helm, these were mainly reached while not on course surfing down waves so clearly the best helmsmen won't be on here. (i.e. me)
3rd place goes tooo.... Simon 'tervinator' 'topsy' 'carlos 'tacky' Turvey with 17.6 knots
2nd place goes tooo....Mr Mate Andy Wright with an average 17.7 knots
1st place goes tooo...STEVEY GGGGGGGGGG with a phenomenal 17.9 knots still being disputed as conveniently there were no witnesses.
(all contenders have been drug tested)
Today has two quotes of the day:
"I used to take the Michael out of fair weather sailors, but now I feel I may have become one."
Stevey G at four am in the morning while putting on wet thermals still in a force 10
"We are up here battling a gale force 10 with waves crashing over us, and they are down there eating stewed apple and custard like there is nothing going on"
Skipper, Chris 'Daniel Craig' Matthews
Thank you for reading this epic blog/log and read it again if you just skim read it, I spent hours writing this instead of cleaning the heads (toilets).
Rupert 'rupie bear' Edwards
And Simon Turvey for technical advice.
(The Management take no responsibility for the editorial content of this blog.)
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